Helping Your Baby Find Upright on Her Own

Helping Your Baby Find Upright on Her Own

Babies typically come into the world with an array of movements that are programmed into their nervous systems in the form of reflexes, righting reactions and equilibrium responses.  They don’t have to learn these movements.  They just get to use them as a foundation for all of the movements they learn during the first years of life.  We parents get excited as we watch them progressing along this movement journey, ticking off each milestone, looking forward to the next, and feeling a surge of pride when they are finally up and walking!

Here’s what might be kind of a new idea: slow it all down.  Encourage your baby to take her time getting to vertical. The more time that she spends on the floor, the more time she has to practice the combinations of movements that build the strength, balance and coordination she needs once she’s “up and running.” 

This is what you can watch for (and sometimes assist!) as she winds her way along the path to uprightness: First she’ll spend lots of time wriggling around on her belly and back.  On her belly, she’ll start lifting up her head so that her neck gets stronger.  Then she’ll roll over.  As she starts to feel more comfortable on her tummy she’ll push into her arms to raise her head and chest off the floor.  Around this time, she’ll also be figuring out how to shift her weight from one side to the other, how to pivot around, and how to lift her legs and arms up together like an airplane.

This will all lead to belly crawling – a super important time for developing trunk strength, for learning to coordinate arm and leg movements, and for getting the joints in the ankles, hips, and back ready for weight-bearing.  She’ll also enjoy lying on her side, leaning on her forearm, and eventually pushing herself up into sitting.  As she figures out how to lower herself back down, she’ll be working on the skills that lead her to crawling on all fours, to pulling herself up to standing, and to cruising along furniture.

If you watch her hands and feet during this whole process, you’ll see lots of pushing and reaching, one part of her body bending while another extends. It’s fun to see just what she has to do to produce the movements that take her forwards, backwards, upwards, downwards and sideways. You can help her, but try not to do the movements for her. If she does them herself, her brain will create the necessary pathways.

A great rule of thumb is that if she’s gotten “there” (sitting, standing, walking) on her own, she’s much more likely to have the strength and coordination to feel secure and stable.  When she’s placed or propped in positions she’s not ready for she’ll have to tense her body in order to hold or maintain the position.  That kind of muscle tightness tends to interfere with easy, comfortable and efficient movement.

Movements that Lead to Milestones: 4 - 8 Months Old:

Movements that Lead to Milestones: 4 - 8 Months Old:

This is a sequel to last month’s post about movement that leads to milestones in your baby’s first year. These various movement components begin emerging at around 4 months. As you look for them, keep in mind that these movements are what make it possible for your little one to push herself to sitting, pull herself to standing and eventually to take those first steps!  

Sources: “The Components of Normal Movement During the First Year of Life and Abnormal Motor Development,” Lois Bly, RPT and “Normal Development of Functional Motor Skills: The First Year of Life,” Alexander, Boehme, Cupps

Important note: time periods for achieving these movement components are approximate and are meant to indicate developmental progressions rather than benchmarks.

4 - 5 Months Old:

Head

Noticeable increase in head control

On belly, can lift and hold head in midline; can tuck chin to look down at surface

Tucks chin and flexes head when pulled to sitting

Able to flex head sideways when tilted to side (also evident in side-lying)

Trunk

Landau Righting Reaction: on belly, swimming motion, arms remain flexed as extends spine and lifts arms and legs off surface at same time.  Leads to increased strength, endurance, and coordination, all of which improve proximal stability that will underlie development of later motor skills.

On tummy, contour of back changing from relatively straight or flat to concave; can see spinal extensor muscles along length of spine.  Lengthening and flattening of spine and extension of hips lead to pelvis lying more parallel to surface in prone.  Joint capsules and soft tissue becoming softer and more flexible leading to increased movement of various joints of legs.

On tummy, arms drawn in closer to body, chin tucks and neck elongates in order to push up into extended arms, shifting center of gravity to lower stomach and thighs.

Weight shifting side to side on tummy leads to one arm being freed up in order to reach; sometimes shifts too far and rolls over accidentally.

Arms

On back, reaches further and brings hands together above body, not resting on body as was the case at 3 months

On back, brings hands and eyes to knees (increasing body awareness); often then rolls over to side

On back, can reach hands to feet as elbows begin to more fully extend

Can reach hands to head

One hand grasps object then other joins

4 months: hands more open as reach for object, thumb held close to palm; usually grasp with fingers but not thumb; no voluntary release yet; but they bring things to midline and play so that transferring from one hand to other occurs; wrist less flexed

5 months: symmetrical palmar grasp happens: fingers hold object against the base of the thumb; brings objects to mouth rather than mouth to objects because of increased mobility and flexibility

In sitting, increased trunk strength, upper back and neck able to straighten while lower back remains rounded

Legs

On back, knees bend and straighten separate from hips; hips can remain fully extended during knee action

On back, begin to symmetrically lift legs in air with knees extended and then forcefully bring feet down to surface

On back, learning to control grading movement, releasing bend in legs as they lower to surface.  Also begins to lift just short distance, learning to control small range of motion

Can wiggle toes and feet holding legs up in air

On back, begin to “bridge,” pushing self with feet while lifting pelvis (look for how stable head, neck and upper trunk need to be for this to happen)

On back, lifts both legs and then loses symmetrical control resulting in legs falling over to one side; trunk may follow and this is the beginning of rolling.  If the underside hip is flexed it will prevent rolling all the way over. When underside hip begins to extend, this leads to rolling over.

On belly, legs draw towards each other more and extend out to lengthen the body

6 Months Old:

Head

Good head control. Can move it against gravity from belly, back and sides.

On back, can lift head up and tuck chin

Trunk

Landau Righting Reaction: on belly, lifts legs and arms off surface at same time; matures when hips fully extend and elbows and knees straighten out.

Body Righting on Body Reflex present (on back, bend one leg up and over chest and upper body will log roll with it)

On tummy, supports self with straight arms – less of a curve in the lower spine (tummy muscles are working as well as back muscles)

Rolling from back to tummy: often starting by bending leg or head to get to side then stretching out and reaching to finish roll (curling up and lengthening out actions working together)

Sitting: straight back, can hold head up with chin tucked and long neck; doesn’t have to lean forward to support self 

Arms

On belly, swimming motion: arms can be held outstretched as shoulder girdle strength increases along with pectorals and abdominals and work with spinal and hip extensors.

Independently pulls to sit (starts by bending head and legs then extends legs)

From sitting, can reach out for toys, etc. without losing balance and can extend arms forward to catch self when balance is lost

Legs

From back, can lift legs and hold above body; often reaches for them with hands

From standing, bears weight on both legs, can hold onto support by self; has enough muscle stability to be able to bounce

7 - 8 Months Old:

Often prefers to be on tummy - offers more possibilities for movement: pivot in circle, belly crawl, rolling to side-lying position and playing in side-lying. Now has enough trunk and head control to feel stable so that these movement possibilities expand.

Crawling: in order to push up into quadruped (crawling) position need:

to be able to lift head and extend neck against the force of gravity

to be able to support weight with shoulders and arms

to have strong enough tummy and back muscles to lift tummy from floor

to have strong enough hip muscles to hold the quadruped position and to balance on all fours

These abilities have all grown out of the movement components that have been developing in the first 6 to 7 months.

Movements that Lead to Milestones: 1 – 3 Months Old

 Movements that Lead to Milestones: 1 – 3 Months Old

It’s pretty easy to get excited when our babies finally begin to roll over, sit up, crawl, and walk. I’m hoping that this blog post will get you equally excited about other developmental moments – especially those that underlie and lead up to the big milestones.  Here’s a list of movement components that show up in the first three months of life.  (In the next blog post I’ll cover 4 -12 months.) I offer it as a kind of observation guide – a way to see more of what is going on right before your eyes!  Hopefully it will spark your interest and curiosity and perhaps even give you a clearer sense of how your baby is slowly but surely building the foundation that will lead to the next milestone and – ultimately - to upright, coordinated movement.

 Sources: “The Components of Normal Movement During the First Year of Life and Abnormal Motor Development,” Lois Bly, RPT and “Normal Development of Functional Motor Skills: The First Year of Life,” Alexander, Boehme, Cupps; Important note: time periods for achieving these movement components are approximate and are meant to indicate developmental progressions rather than benchmarks.

 1 Month Old:

Head

On belly, can lift head and turn it to opposite side

Trunk

Whole body often curled up in position similar to being in the womb

On belly, hips are flexed (pulled in from being tucked up tight in utero) and this causes weight to shift forward onto baby’s face; as lifts head weight shifts backwards

 Sitting – no self-support; rounded back, head flops forward

Arms

Arms begin to stretch out from being curled in

Legs

On belly, kicking as lifts head to turn to opposite side

Automatic or reflexive “standing” and “walking”

 2 Months Old:

Head

On belly, can’t yet hold head in midline

On back, head rotates to side in asymmetrical position because of pull of gravity and baby doesn’t yet have muscle strength to counter that force

On back, because head is to the side, lateral vision is dominant and baby is often seen looking at hand.

Trunk

“Hypotonia” - lower tone: whole body flexion (curled up from being tucked up tight in utero) decreases and trunk starts to stretch out; seems to have less control than in previous month

Asymmetry: ATNR reflex (Asymmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex) is activated when baby turns head to one side causing the arm on the face side to stretch out and the arm on the skull side to bend

On belly, hips are more stretched out, pelvis starting to drop down to meet the surface during rest.  Less forward weight shifting and this allows for easier head lifting and turning to side

Sitting, no trunk support; head bobs.

Arms

On belly, hands beginning to be in position to support weight

Legs

In standing automatic walking is no longer present

 3 Months Old:

Head

On back, head held in midline more often (neck muscles on both sides of head strengthening to allow for this); chin tucking is evident

Midline vision increasing – on back and on belly

When pulled to sit, not strong enough to hold head upright in midline

Trunk

On belly, able to lengthen out neck and trunk when lifting and turning head

In sitting, rounded back continues but increased ability to hold head up (shoulders go up and chin juts out to make it happen)

Arms

On belly arms move away from sides of body so that forearms can press into floor to support forearm weight bearing and in order to lift up head and chest (this position is important for giving sensory feedback to shoulders and neck which underlies development of stability)

On back, hands often held in midline

On back, hands on body and hand-on-hand contact increase body awareness

Legs

On back, symmetrical movement of legs (frog kicking)

On back, feet come together for foot play (increases sensory input leading to increase body awareness)

On belly, legs outwardly rotate and spread apart as they stretch out In standing, takes weight with feet

Digestion Massage

Sometimes babies need help with their digestion, especially early on when their systems are still immature.  The following movements can provide increased ease and comfort:

While your baby is lying on her back, place your hands on her feet and gently invite her to bend both legs towards her tummy.  (If you feel one leg thrusting stronger than the other, follow the movement of that leg as it lengthens out and then wait for it to pause before encouraging it to flex.)  Ask both legs to move all of the way in and remain in this flexed position for as long as she allows.  When she wants to straighten out, follow her movement.  This kind of “following” is a deep and quiet tuning into her movement – “listening” to her and letting her know that you are listening by being right there with her.  As she lengthens, wait for her to pause or soften and then ask her to flex again.  With a few repetitions, you will likely notice that she can flex with increased ease.  This kind of massaging motion is great for helping her bowels to move.

Lying on her left side, slowly bend your baby’s right knee up towards her tummy.  With one hand on her back for support, gently massage her belly with a downward movement, letting your hands communicate the direction of energy or movement needed for digestion.

Movement Matches and Mismatches

Have you ever thought about how you move or how you like to move? As you answer the following questions think about how your movement preferences compare to your child’s. 

·      What kind of energy do you use as you go about your day?

·      How do you move to express your emotions? 

·      Are you more comfortable moving slowly or are you someone who hustles and bustles?

·      Do you have a preference for a high level of activity and variety in your day or are you happier when you can lay back and calmly approach the things you have to do?

·      Are you comfortable when your balance is challenged or do you work to maintain stability at all costs?

·      What is your comfort level with different kinds of movement: dancing, whirling, bouncing, stretching, skipping, leaping, running, walking, kicking, throwing, jumping?

·      Do you prefer doing movements with your hands (like knitting or drawing) or do you prefer to be active with your whole body?

·      Are you someone who has a challenging time getting your energy going or is it easily accessible?

We’re all born with some innate preferences and we’re also influenced by how those preferences are shaped by our experiences and interactions.  By comparing your own movement preferences and energy inclinations to your child’s, you might find that you easily match each other…. or, you might discover that you’re very different and that these differences can lead, at times, to a sense of dissonance in your relationship. 

For example, you might have an infant who needs constant jiggling and bouncing or a toddler who has lots of intense energy and needs constant movement, but you are someone who prefers quiet, calm activity.  Another situation could be that your baby is happiest when she can sit back and observe rather than participate but you are someone who likes to jump in and interact. These differences in inclinations can make it hard for you to feel comfortable with your child’s needs, and a sense of disconnection can result.  

Being aware of your differences and the responses you have to them, can in itself be a relief.  Awareness can also provide the opportunity for you to look at your choices.  One option would be to try to meet and match your child’s energy and movement style to some extent. Tuning into her, feeling how she is expressing her needs, you might find an opening to join her. For example, if she’s excited and is expressing it enthusiastically and you find yourself resisting her energy because of your preference for quiet and calm, try bridging the gap by moving in the direction of her exuberance rather than away from it.  Try matching the energy of her excitement by quickening your pace, chasing, bouncing, squealing, dancing – any movement that enlivens and activates!  You’ll likely notice your own fear or hesitation come up, and that’s natural. You’re entering territory that’s unfamiliar and can feel disorganizing.  See if you can move in this direction in measured steps so as not to go too far outside of your comfort zone.

By the same token, you can offer the wisdom of your movement inclinations to your child by inviting her to extend and expand her range of preferences.  Asking her to move outside of her comfort zone in order to join you can be an important learning opportunity for her. If her preferences are strong, you’ll need to work in small doses, challenging but not going too far.  Keep in mind that she isn’t going to be as good at compromising as you, the adult, are.

You bring your own level of arousal - expressed in non-verbal posture, energy and movement – to every interaction with your child.  How you communicate it has a powerful influence on her sense of comfort and connection. Matching leads to attunement, and as you go back and forth, taking in and modulating each other’s energy and movement, you’re actively building the bonds of attachment.

Arousal Level Regulation

Co-Regulation and Self-Regulation: Movements to Shift Your Baby’s Arousal Level

“Self-Regulation” is a hot topic these days – often in relation to how well a child can control herself in stimulating situations.  Here’s some basic information that might help you think about this, whether it applies to your 2 year old running around or a newborn resting in your arms.

Self-regulation is your child’s ability to modulate her arousal level.  She learns how to do this through “co-regulating” experiences she has with you and other caregivers. Right from the get-go, you use regulating strategies to help her feel calm and comfortable: rocking, swinging, and bouncing your infant when she’s cranky; pulling your toddler into your lap and helping her to slow down when she’s over-excited.  Most of what you communicate to your child during these early years is non-verbal.  She listens to your words but it’s your gaze, touch, tone of voice, facial expression, and movement gestures that really matter.  It’s through those non-verbal channels that you help her to shift her arousal level ……  and as she experiences this over time, she’ll gradually learn to self-regulate.

It’s natural for your child’s arousal level to fluctuate depending on how stimulating her day is.  Some times she’s ready for stimulation and other times she’s not.  Tuning into her signals can help you be proactive in your efforts to co-regulate.  One of the things you’ll notice is her effort to self-soothe when she feels overwhelmed: thumb sucking, gaze aversion, crying, humming, sounding, small repetitive movements like kicking or rubbing, etc. This is called “auto-regulation” – a capacity she was born with that she does with little or no awareness.  She’s trying to stay optimally alert and comfortable.  You can help her by making sure that she has recovery time throughout her day that allows her nervous system to rest.  I think of this kind of “down-regulating” as “Peaks and Valleys: if her peaks are followed by valleys, she’s less likely to become overwhelmed by stimulation.

Sometimes a baby or toddler needs help bringing more energy into her system.  She might feel lethargic or kind of flat.  When this is the case, you can help her to “up-regulate” by providing movement and social interactions that excite and activate her nervous system.  This can look like singing, swinging, massaging, or playful touch and facial expressions.

Rhythm: one of the best supports for regulation!  Think of heartbeats and breathing rhythms.  Your child’s earliest experience of nervous system regulation is in those rhythmic movements. You can help her to access a sense of regulation by doing things like drumming, rhythmic ball bouncing or throwing and catching, clapping games, singing, dancing and other rhythmic activities. 

Best “Take-Home” Tip: Use your own self-regulation to co-regulate your baby or child.  Notice how aroused you feel and see if you can either up-regulate or down-regulate your own nervous system so that you can then use your voice, tone, rhythm, attention, speed, flexibility, gaze, sounds, and gestures to help her to stay regulated. 

Hints for Successful Tummy Time

“My baby cries every time I put him on his belly.  He can’t stand it! He’s just so much happier on his back or sitting in his infant seat.   Is tummy time really that important?” 

Yes, tummy time is as important as you’ve heard!  To understand why, let’s look at the role gravity plays in early development.  Begin by trying something: Lie down on the floor on your back and notice how easy it is to pay attention to the world around you without having to exert any effort at all.  Now, roll over onto your belly and see if you feel a change. In order to interact, you have to lift your head up and use your neck and back muscles just to see what’s going on around you. Similarly, in the first few months of life, babies are working hard to deal with the force of gravity.  It can be overwhelming at times and lying on their bellies can be a pretty big chore.

So, why is tummy time so important?

Usually we don’t pay much attention to gravity, but in your infant’s development, it’s a big player!  All of your baby’s movement develops in response to its force, beginning with reflexes that are triggered by gravity.  These reflexes activate her muscles, getting them ready to move her body away from its downward pull. This readiness is called “muscle tone” and your baby’s strength and coordination slowly develop from this base of background muscle activity.

Introduce Your Infant to the Pull of Gravity Gradually

It’s common for infants to spend more time feeling the pull of gravity when they are on their backs than on their tummies.  As a result many babies resist being placed on their tummies.  If you are like many parents, you might be wondering how to help your little one be more comfortable and at ease in this unfamiliar position. Here are some ideas for you:

To transition her to spending time on her belly, start by lying on the floor and placing her on your belly so that she feels the safety and comfort of contact (your warmth, smell, reassuring voice, etc.) while she becomes more familiar with the sensations associated with being on her belly.  Offer this in doses that she can tolerate.  If she expresses discomfort, don’t force it, but don’t hesitate to try it again. You can also lie on your side and cuddle or spoon her in front of you so that she is on her side as well.  Helping her to experience gravity acting on her body in different positions, you’ll find that she will gradually become more and more comfortable and ready for “solo time” on the floor.

Three things to take into consideration at this point:

1.    It’s important to create a space on the floor that is comfortable for you – use padding and big pillows - anything to entice you to spend time down there with her. The idea is to get down low with her, face-to-face, making it interesting and cozy for her to be on her belly. 

2.    You want to avoid startling her by moving too fast. The startle reflex (Moro Reflex) is triggered when her head tips back quickly and unexpectedly or when there is a loud noise: her arms shoot out and her back arches.  This response is followed by the second phase of the reflex in which her arms, head and body fold back into a more curled position.  Learning to read this reflex can help you to move and support your infant so as to avoid triggering it as much as possible. Younger babies tend to startle more often, especially with loud sounds or when picked up or lowered down.  Try changing your baby’s position slowly and supporting her head to keep it from dropping back.  When you notice a startle, help her to recover by curling her up next to your body and encouraging her muscles to release and relax.  One of the reasons to avoid startling is that it activates the extensor muscles on the back of the body; if this happens frequently, it can lead to an imbalance in muscle tone where the back muscles become more active than those on the front.

3.    Think about what a big difference she must experience when you shift her from orienting to the world from an upright, contained position in your arms to one that is facedown and alone on the floor!  Try to make this transition gradual: move her slowly from upright in your arms to lying on her side still in your arms, to lying on her side on the floor with your face close for reassurance, to finally releasing her onto her belly - staying close to soothe her with your voice, smell and presence.

Offer Flexion as a Support for Tummy Time

Tummy time in the first few months of life gives your infant the foundation for developing “balanced muscle tone” – underlying muscle action that leads to comfortable and balanced posture and movement.  When you curl your infant into a more flexed position, it counter-balances the strong preference that babies often have for extending and lengthening their bodies, sometimes to the point of arching their backs and thrusting out their legs. 

This preference stems in part from the natural process of uncurling (having been tightly flexed in the womb), partly from early reflexive startling responses, and partly from the need to extend in order to move up and away from the downward pull of gravity.  As a result, babies often become more familiar with the sensations associated with lengthening out the body and not as naturally comfortable with the sensations related to movements that pull in and flex the body.  When you curl your infant up into a cozy ball, you help her to become more familiar with the accompanying “flexing” sensations.  This sensory familiarity opens the door to coordinated activation of the muscles on the front and back of the body.  This balanced muscle action – the integration of flexor and extensor tone – allows for more ease and comfort in movement.

With each new phase of motor development, your baby might need to re-visit finding flexion support as she learns new movements.  (This is because so much of early motor learning entails working against the force of gravity by extending and lengthening out into space.) You might need to remind her that her flexor muscle tone is a deep support for this moving up and out into the world. Periodically curling her up (in your arms, while nursing or bottle feeding, on the changing table, etc.) as she goes through all of the wonderful, highly active stages that happen in the first year will provide this reminder, and it will also help her learn to rest by yielding into your soft support.

Touch and Massage: the Dance of Sensation and Movement

6 Great Touch and Movement Ideas

 “Cellular Connection”

This is easier to do with an infant, but you can use the same idea and modify it for an older child.  As you hold your infant, let your attention turn inward so that you feel your hands touching her body and her body touching your hands.  Feel how at this point of contact, your cells are meeting her cells.  Be aware of the two of you together…. right now … in this moment.  Notice movement, temperature, the rise and fall of breath. Feel her weight dropping into your arms.  Is she yielding into your hold or pulling away? Notice whatever micro-movements you can feel. 

With an older child, try this kind of cellular connection while placing your hands on her back as you are sitting next to her or reading to her. 

“Pelvis Rock”

With your child lying on her back, slide your fingers underneath her bottom and feel for her sit bones with your thumbs.  Your hands should now be in a position to gently grasp her whole pelvis.  Tilt it up and down in a rocking motion.  Her legs will go up and down as you do this, but the initiation of the movement is from the hip joints.  As a result, you’ll see her bending through her hips and lower back rather than just her legs.

 “Foot Massage”

Apply pressure to the bottom of one of your baby’s feet with your thumbs.  Keep pressing down steadily as you slide your thumbs up and down the length of her foot a few times. Then move your hands to her toes and stretch out each individual toe with even, gentle tension. Now, place one hand on one of her heals and the other on the upper part of that foot and imagine that you can glide the lower part of her foot underneath the upper part of it. You should be able to feel a kind of back and forth sliding motion between these two parts of her foot. Next, firmly grasp her whole foot with both of your hands, covering as much of the foot as possible, and massage the soft tissue with a sponging type touch – squeezing and releasing, squeezing and releasing – as though you are pumping the fluids that make up the soft tissue of her foot.  Finally, use long sweeping motions that start at the ankle and move all the way to her toes and beyond to release any tension in her foot.  You can do this with varying amounts of pressure – from firm to light.

“Twists and Turns”

With your child lying on her back, raise and bend one of her legs up towards her chest while lengthening out and keeping her other leg straight.  Then slowly rotate the bent leg across her belly towards her opposite side, maintaining the straight position of her other leg.  Repeat several times and then change sides.  At first do this without rotating her upper body. Then try it with rotation: roll her whole body over to the side in a fluid motion initiated by the leg moving up and crossing over.     

 “Starfish”

Imagine that your child is a starfish with its six limbs composed of her 2 legs, 2 arms, her head and the base of her spine.  With her lying on her back, place one of your hands on her belly and the other on one of her “limbs.”  Help her to feel a sensory connection between these two parts of her body by moving the limb towards and away from her center.  Repeat this with each of her “limbs.”  Then connect one limb to another by placing your hands on two of her limbs and moving them towards and away from each other, feeling how they each have a common referencing point at the center of her body.

 “Cradle, Rock, Jiggle, and Stretch”

Babies’ bodies are made up of between 78% and 65% water.  Keeping this in mind, cradle, rock, jiggle, and stretch different parts of your baby’s body, using effortless, freeing, fluid motions…. as though you are swishing around the fluid that’s inside each of her cells. 

Movement to Help Your Baby Feel Comfortable and Safe

Baby Ball

From early infancy, babies often find rest and comfort when held in what we refer to as a “Baby Ball” - a position that gently curls the whole body up into a rounded ball-like position.   Holding your baby against your body, bring her knees up towards her belly into a natural “C-Curve” with her head in line with her spine and bent slightly forward.  Make sure that she is folded at her hips as well as her knees.

You might feel her thrusting her legs out or arching her spine.  This is totally normal.  There’s a good chance that the muscles that lengthen her body are stronger and more active than those that curl up and shorten it; as a result, extending movements can be more automatic than flexing movements.  She could also be responding to the force of compression by pushing against it. Or she could simply be more familiar with the feeling of her body being in an extended position rather than a flexed one.

If you feel this outward force, follow her movements as she stretches her legs and body.  At this point, pay careful attention and you will likely notice a slight pause or a sense of softening in her outward movement. That’s your cue to fold her knees back up towards her belly and return her to a baby ball. There’s a good chance that she will want to repeat this movement (in and out of compression) a number of times until she becomes more familiar with being fully “flexed” and contained. The trick for you is to develop a “6th sense” for feeling that moment when she softens. Be patient and you’ll feel it, I promise!

Compression and containment can be like magic for helping a nervous system to relax and recharge… and not just for babies!  Don’t hold back from trying this with your toddler or child of any age.  It can even work with you!  Think of the comfort you draw when you curl up into a “fetal” position, folding your attention inward and withdrawing from the outside world.  Even a momentary retreat can be rejuvenating.  

Startling as a Signal

Have you ever paid attention to how your body moves when you get startled?  You can probably imagine it.  With that picture in your mind, pretend that you’ve just been startled and see what movements you notice.  Most likely you’ll feel your arms shooting out and your back arching - a full body, reflexive reaction that’s instantaneous and quickly subsides as you relax back into your normal posture.  It’s easy to feel the stiffening backwards part, but there’s a good chance that you missed something that happens just before you transition back into a normal state: you go through a second phase of the reflex in which your whole body, arms, and head fold forward into a somewhat curled position for a split second.  This is one of your body’s built-in protective mechanisms to help you recover and regain equilibrium.

Think about this the next time you notice your baby startling.  If you have a young baby, you’ve probably seen her startle a number of times.  Infants tend to startle more easily and it’s not just in response to loud noises.  She might also startle when her head tips back quickly and unexpectedly or sometimes when you simply pick her up or lower her down.

Learning to read this reflex can help you to move and support your infant in ways that avoid triggering it. To ease your baby into the recovery phase when you notice a startle, curl her up next to your body and feel for her muscles relaxing.  

Sensory Experience of Babies

One of the main tasks developmentally in the first few months of life is to learn to organize sensation.  Sensory input having to do with touch and movement provides the infant with information about body position, equilibrium, safety, comfort, and connectedness. 

Through gravity and movement sensations, your baby learns about balance, speed, directionality, as well as qualities such as whether a movement is smooth or jerky, abrupt or gradual, tense or flowing.  Through touch receptors she learns to grasp and let go, to turn her head in response to stimulus, to experience where her body begins and ends, and to know if something feels safe or not.  Through proprioceptors, your baby learns about body position, how one body part relates to another, and how to control the intensity of muscle activation.

The ways in which you hold, touch and move your baby provide her with a variety of sensory experiences that she uses as she learns to move independently. These experiences also influence her sense of self and her sense of safety.  

Sensations help to organize movement:  Movement both creates sensation and is informed by the sensations that it produces.  Your baby’s nervous system is continuously taking in sensations.  Different senses stimulate and motivate movement: for example, vision stimulates the development of head control, and hearing stimulates looking and reaching.  As you watch your baby learning to move in response to what she is seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling (and how that movement then creates a whole new set of sensations), you can see how cognitive development grows out of this dance between sensation and motor activity. 

Sensory input can increase or decrease arousal:  Swaddling and rocking infants in their first few months of life provide proprioceptive (compression from the tightness of the wrapping) and vestibular input (swinging, rocking, swaying type motions) that helps their nervous systems to settle and quiet, inviting more inner focused attention. Tickling, bouncing and vigorous swinging all serve to jazz up your baby, increasing arousal and outward focused interactive play.  Matching the kind of sensory stimulation you provide with your baby’s general state of consciousness helps your baby to feel fully met – experiencing that you are aware of just how much input her system is ready to handle in that given moment. This kind of attunement is the ground for healthy attachment. 

Alert Active Excited Quiet Calm Tired Crying Sleepy

Being able to read and respond effectively to your child’s state of consciousness sends her the message that she is in safe hands, that you’re there to help her to modulate her arousal level.  No doubt you’ve already become an expert at reading your child’s signals…. and you’ve probably also noticed that those signals change over time as her nervous system matures.  Often babies and toddlers need help transitioning between these different states and it can be challenging to know how to help. Here are a couple of movement-oriented ideas to add to your repertoire:

Notice the difference between outer attention and inner attention.  You can use touch, movement, music, and rhythm to invite shifts from one focus to another. By supporting your child’s ability to transition between inner and outer focus, you just might be providing her with an important lifetime tool for self-awareness and self-care! 

A general rule of thumb is that firm touch will calm the nervous system and light touch will excite it. 

Containment – anything from swaddling your infant to folding your toddler into your arms and lap – often lays the ground for “re-grouping.”  The idea is to provide a total body experience of being embraced, enclosed, wrapped, surrounded.

Music, singing, dancing, rocking, swinging, tapping, patting, bouncing, clapping, sounding – all have a direct impact on your child’s nervous system and can be used to support a change from one state to another.  For example, swinging, rocking or bouncing can either “up-regulate” or “down-regulate” – cool terms for changing the energy and arousal level of a nervous system.  Varying the speed and intensity of the movement will provide you with the opportunity to meet your child’s energy level and then, if needed, to shift it from one state to another. 

Rhythm: From an early age infants are soothed by their birthmother’s heartbeat.  There’s even speculation that the infant’s own heartbeat might be partly regulated by her birthmother’s heart rate.  Think of how tuned into your heart rate your baby is from all that time in-utero - listening to your heart and growing in its rhythm.  Influenced by this intrinsic experience, we rock and calm our babies rhythmically and we use various rhythms in our speech, song, and movement to communicate safety and love to our little ones.  We take rhythm for granted, perhaps forgetting what a powerful tool it is for helping our children’s nervous systems to organize and function optimally. 

Breathing: As you well know, our breath speeds up when we’re anxious or scared and it slows when we return to a state of calm and safety.  In helping your baby to transition from stress back to comfort, start with your own breath.  It’s one of the most effective and accessible tools we have!  Take a few deep breaths.  By making your exhales longer than your inhales, you will give your nervous system the message that it’s okay to slow down and become more inner-focused.  Once there, you can use “sounding breaths” to communicate to your child: sighing, humming, oohing, ahhing, and exhaling against slight resistance are all examples of this kind of breathing.  You can also exhale right into your child’s body by placing your mouth next to her skin and “sounding into” her so that she feels the vibration of your voice.  You might be surprised by how much fun it is and how much she likes it!

Newborns in particular will react to stimulus according to their state of consciousness.  When their state of consciousness matches the kind of stimulus offered, an intact nervous system will be observed.  If their systems are overwhelmed by the stimulus, they will use a process called “habituation” as a protective response.  It’s a way of closing down their nervous systems and is an essential capacity at this stage of development when their nervous systems are still immature and learning to adjust to the outside world.  Sometimes you can see them doing this.  They might turn away from face-to-face interaction, for example, or they might go to sleep in a more tightened state – flexed extremities with little movement except jerky startles and no eye blinks.  In this state, they are maintaining control over their environment – different from relaxing into sleep.  Looking for these cues can give you information about how your infant is responding to stimulation.

Movement Matters

Let’s start with the basics of why movement matters.

It matters because movement tells a story.  By reading or listening to the story your child tells you as she races across the playground or quietly glances your way, you are finding out all sorts of things about her - feelings, relationships, needs, desires, interests – all without necessarily saying a word. 

Movement matters because it’s how your baby learns just about everything!  Your 2 month old, lying on her belly, lifts her head up and shows you not only how much she has to learn to contend with the force of gravity but also how much she’s interested in the world despite her weak muscles.  The focus of her searching eyes gives you information about what sense she is starting to make of intimate connection while the tightening actions in her belly and the vibrational movements of her voice call your attention to her discomfort - a not so subtle message about what her digestive system is learning.

Movement matters because it’s not only a reflection of what your child is learning but also the engine behind her growth. With each day of increasing strength and coordination comes an ever-widening capacity to interact with her world, interactions that bring with them countless possibilities for social, emotional, and intellectual growth.  Your 5 month old finally gains a stable enough base of support to be able to reach out into space and actively seek what she desires.  Now, instead of discovering shape, texture, and temperature through mouthing objects, she is beginning to recognize those qualities visually.  With that visual understanding comes the desire to reach for what she sees and to explore with her hands rather than her mouth exclusively – a big change in how she relates to her world – all made possible by a movement progression that has led to stable sitting and reaching.

Movement matters because it’s an integral part of the process of your child’s brain formation.  Neural pathways form in response to her movement, and these pathways turn into whole networks of nerve connections.  The more that a pathway is activated, the stronger it becomes. Learning is the process of laying down new pathways by making connections and creating ever-increasing intertwining networks while at the same time weeding out the ones that are no longer in use.

Movement matters because it supports your child’s overall health.  Most children show us how much they love to move.  Besides the pure pleasure of it, a world that is rich in movement creates the ground for good health and social interaction.  An added benefit is that it can release stress as well as help to regulate arousal levels – either calming or energizing depending on what your child needs.  

Finally, and importantly, movement matters because it’s one of the most compelling tools you have for opening up the world of relationship to your child.

Notice how your baby’s movements differ depending on her arousal level.  As she wakes from a nap, her movements (both body and attention) will reflect her general feeling state.  They might be contracted or relaxed, fast or slow, intense or peaceful, smooth and sustained or jerky and abrupt – all of these movement qualities give you information about how she is feeling and what she is ready for.  Tuning into these qualities and matching your own energy and movement to meet hers is the very foundation for building connection and attachment with your child.   

Helping Your Baby Find Upright on Her Own

Babies typically come into the world with an array of movements that are programmed into their nervous systems in the form of reflexes, righting reactions and equilibrium responses.  They don’t have to learn these movements.  They just get to use them as a foundation for all of the movements they learn during the first years of life.  We parents get excited as we watch them progressing along this movement journey, ticking off each milestone, looking forward to the next, and feeling a surge of pride when they are finally up and walking!

Here’s what might be kind of a new idea: slow it all down.  Encourage your baby to take her time getting to vertical. The more time that she spends on the floor, the more time she has to practice the combinations of movements that build the strength, balance and coordination she needs once she’s “up and running.”  

This is what you can watch for (and sometimes assist!) as she winds her way along the path to uprightness: First she’ll spend lots of time wriggling around on her belly and back.  On her belly, she’ll start lifting up her head so that her neck gets stronger.  Then she’ll roll over.  As she starts to feel more comfortable on her tummy she’ll push into her arms to raise her head and chest off the floor.  Around this time, she’ll also be figuring out how to shift her weight from one side to the other, how to pivot around, and how to lift her legs and arms up together like an airplane.

This will all lead to belly crawling – a super important time for developing trunk strength, for learning to coordinate arm and leg movements, and for getting the joints in the ankles, hips, and back ready for weight-bearing.  She’ll also enjoy lying on her side, leaning on her forearm, and eventually pushing herself up into sitting.  As she figures out how to lower herself back down, she’ll be working on the skills that lead her to crawling on all fours, to pulling herself up to standing, and to cruising along furniture.

If you watch her hands and feet during this whole process, you’ll see lots of pushing and reaching, one part of her body bending while another extends. It’s fun to see just what she has to do to produce the movements that take her forwards, backwards, upwards, downwards and sideways. You can help her, but try not to do the movements for her. If she does them herself, her brain will create the necessary pathways.

A great rule of thumb is that if she’s gotten “there” (sitting, standing, walking) on her own, she’s much more likely to have the strength and coordination to feel secure and stable.  When she’s placed or propped in positions she’s not ready for she’ll have to tense her body in order to hold or maintain the position.  That kind of muscle tightness tends to interfere with easy, comfortable and efficient movement.

Touch and Massage: the Dance of Sensation and Movement

6 Great Touch and Movement Ideas

“Cellular Connection”

This is easier to do with an infant, but you can use the same idea and modify it for an older child.  As you hold your infant, let your attention turn inward so that you feel your hands touching her body and her body touching your hands.  Feel how at this point of contact, your cells are meeting her cells.  Be aware of the two of you together…. right now … in this moment.  Notice movement, temperature, the rise and fall of breath. Feel her weight dropping into your arms.  Is she yielding into your hold or pulling away? Notice whatever micro-movements you can feel. With an older child, try this kind of cellular connection while placing your hands on her back as you are sitting next to her or reading to her.   

“Pelvis Rock”

With your child lying on her back, slide your fingers underneath her bottom and feel for her sit bones with your thumbs.  Your hands should now be in a position to gently grasp her whole pelvis.  Tilt it up and down in a rocking motion.  Her legs will go up and down as you do this, but the initiation of the movement is from the hip joints.  As a result, you’ll see her bending through her hips and lower back rather than just her legs.

“Foot Massage”

Apply pressure to the bottom of one of your baby’s feet with your thumbs.  Keep pressing down steadily as you slide your thumbs up and down the length of her foot a few times. Then move your hands to her toes and stretch out each individual toe with even, gentle tension. Now, place one hand on one of her heals and the other on the upper part of that foot and imagine that you can glide the lower part of her foot underneath the upper part of it. You should be able to feel a kind of back and forth sliding motion between these two parts of her foot. Next, firmly grasp her whole foot with both of your hands, covering as much of the foot as possible, and massage the soft tissue with a sponging type touch – squeezing and releasing, squeezing and releasing – as though you are pumping the fluids that make up the soft tissue of her foot.  Finally, use long sweeping motions that start at the ankle and move all the way to her toes and beyond to release any tension in her foot.  You can do this with varying amounts of pressure – from firm to light.

“Twists and Turns”

With your child lying on her back, raise and bend one of her legs up towards her chest while lengthening out and keeping her other leg straight.  Then slowly rotate the bent leg across her belly towards her opposite side, maintaining the straight position of her other leg.  Repeat several times and then change sides.  At first do this without rotating her upper body. Then try it with rotation: roll her whole body over to the side in a fluid motion initiated by the leg moving up and crossing over.     

“Starfish”

Imagine that your child is a starfish with its six limbs composed of her 2 legs, 2 arms, her head and the base of her spine.  With her lying on her back, place one of your hands on her belly and the other on one of her “limbs.”  Help her to feel a sensory connection between these two parts of her body by moving the limb towards and away from her center.  Repeat this with each of her “limbs.”  Then connect one limb to another by placing your hands on two of her limbs and moving them towards and away from each other, feeling how they each have a common referencing point at the center of her body.

“Cradle, Rock, Jiggle, and Stretch”

Babies’ bodies are made up of between 78% and 65% water.  Keeping this in mind, cradle, rock, jiggle, and stretch different parts of your baby’s body, using effortless, freeing, fluid motions…. as though you are swishing around the fluid that’s inside each of her cells. 

The Dance of Attunement

The Dance of Attunement

It’s not always easy to be with a newborn all day long.  It can sometimes feel like all your baby does is eat, sleep, poop, and fuss in various repeating cycles, none of which are predictable!  In addition, you’re most likely overtired and overwhelmed, at times even overanxious.  And on top of that, your hands are constantly tied so that every waking hour is consumed but seems to produce pretty much…. nothing! 

Thinking about that state of mind – one that is so familiar to moms everywhere, I’m chuckling realizing that I am writing a post asking you to do something as abstract as make a paradigm shift.  Nevertheless, here goes:

Infant development is often defined by milestones – observable skills that indicate progress in learning and growth.  As parents, we look forward to our baby’s earliest achievements, feeling both satisfaction and relief with each sign of advancement.  Development is seen as something to witness and observe, encourage and promote.  It’s your baby whose developing and you as the parent are by his side helping him make the strides that indicate that everything is on track. 

What if, instead, we understand development as a process of engagement – one in which you as parent join and fully participate.  In lieu of witnessing and observing your baby’s development, you become a part of it.

Think of your infant’s development as an unfolding that is happening in relationship – his moment-to-moment, day in and day out relationship with you.  His whole process of becoming - of sorting out, organizing and balancing the functioning of his different body systems - is all happening in response to you.  It’s an incredibly intimate and inter-personal process, with profound implications.  In a sense, you are the ground in which his growth is happening… it’s not separate.

With this in mind, observing becomes more like engaging - noticing not only your baby’s responses to different things but also your own.  It’s easy to be aware of how you feel when he smiles up at you or when he’s tired and grumpy and cries bitterly.  It may not be quite as obvious to notice what your hands do when they feel his body tightening and arching away from your hold or how the intensity of his reactions – both positive and negative- are often mirrored in your own body’s expressions of intensity. 

Even the simplest everyday activity like picking up your baby from the changing table offers an opportunity to notice this interactive “conversation.”  You intuitively calibrate the speed, rhythm, and intensity of your movements and voice to match his mood and state of consciousness.  When he’s happy and full of energy, you are most likely more robust with how you handle him.  When he’s just waking up from a nap and feeling quiet and inner focused, you probably tend to be more gentle, slow and even with your movements and voice.  As you respond to him in these ways, he notices and responds accordingly…and so the dance of attunement goes…

This kind of body sensing and responsive listening gives him the message that you are paying attention and with that comes an even deeper message that he is worth being paid attention to.  Tuning into each other is happening all of the time, whether you’re aware of it or not.  It’s the ground from which attachment grows and it’s the foundation underlying the development of your baby’s positive sense of self.

So, back to the challenge of being with a newborn all day long and that paradigm shift I mentioned at the start.  I don’t want to leave you with the sense that this kind of engaging process means that you’re doing something wrong during those moments when you can’t be there, fully aware, responsive to your infant’s every need.  Take home the essence of this conceptual framework and know that part of your little one’s learning to manage stress and grow and develop happens in the milieu of repair: when the two of you come back together after experiencing the ruptures created by exhaustion, distraction and the general busyness of real life.

Try It Yourself!

For a great demonstration of how interactive development is, go to You Tube and look up Dr. Edward Tronick’s Still Face Experiment.  It’s a bit gut wrenching but clear evidence of the power of this amazing dance of attunement.

Tummy Time!

Tummy Time!

“My baby cries every time I put him on his belly.  He can’t stand it! He’s just so much happier on his back or sitting in his infant seat.   Is tummy time really that important? ” 

You’ve probably heard that tummy time is important and to understand why, let’s look at the role gravity plays in early development.  Begin by trying something: Lie down on the floor on your back and notice how easy it is to pay attention to the world around you without having to exert any effort at all.  Now, roll over onto your belly and see if you feel a change.  In order to interact, you have to lift your head up and use your neck and back muscles just to see what’s going on around you. Similarly, in the first few months of life, babies are working hard to deal with the force of gravity.  It can be overwhelming at times and lying on their bellies can be a pretty big chore.

So, why is tummy time so important?

Usually we don’t pay much attention to gravity, but in your infant’s development, it’s a big player!  All of your baby’s movement develops in response to its force, beginning with reflexes that are triggered by gravity.  These reflexes activate his muscles, getting them ready to move his body away from its downward pull. This readiness is called “muscle tone” and your baby’s strength and coordination slowly develop from this base of background muscle activity.

Tummy time in the first few months of life gives your infant the foundation for developing “balanced muscle tone” – underlying muscle action that leads to comfortable and balanced posture and movement.  You can feel this “tone” while holding your baby.  Pay attention to how his weight falls into your arms.  Is he yielding into you or pulling away? Does his body feel a bit floppy or rigid? sagging or perking up?  Can you notice him moving from relaxed to more active?  What you are feeling is your baby’s muscle tone: shifts in muscle tension as he relates to gravity in any given moment.

It’s common for infants to spend more time relating to gravity on their backs than their tummies. This is in part due to sleeping on their backs and reclining in infant seats and carriers (a position that has similar muscle activation to being on their backs).  Unless they spend corresponding time on their bellies, they are likely to develop higher tone in the muscles on the back of the body.  This is where tummy time comes in: it balances this out by increasing the tone of the muscles on the front of the body, and the two working together help your baby progress through all of the normal patterns of motor development with more ease and efficiency.  

Introducing your infant to the pull of gravity from his tummy is often easier said than done.  I’ll post again soon to give you ideas for how you and your baby can have fun with it.  In the meantime, create some good floor space and keep noticing muscle tone – both yours and your little one’s!

Try It Yourself!

The Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex

Let me introduce you to gravity again.  You guessed it: back down onto the floor on your belly.  As you settle into its support, focus your attention on the muscles at the front of your body. Can you feel a sense of weight loading the front surface?  Now roll onto your back and repeat.  You are experiencing a reflex called the Tonic Labyrinthine.  This reflex increases the tone of the muscles on the front of the body (flexor tone) when you are on your belly and the tone on the back when you are on your back (extensor tone). It’s triggered by the pull of gravity.

Explore the different ways that your body can relate to gravity in these two positions. 

·    Imagine being drawn passively down into it, almost as if you have no energy or power to meet its pull.  Here you’re collapsing into gravity.

·       Now increase the tone of the muscles on the undersurface of your body, so much so that you actually pull up and away from the floor.  Here you’re resisting gravity. 

·      Finally, try to meet its force in an active exchange – where you feel like you can move both towards and away from it in a comfortable relationship.  Here you’re bonding with gravity. 

By “bonding” with the force of gravity, you move in relation to it rather than “in spite of it.”  The ease of movement you experience is the result of balanced muscle tone.  Exploring this reflex can help you develop a keener sense of how you are holding tension in your own body as well as how to release it….. and how to sense it in your baby’s body.  With this awareness you can help guide your child’s path to softening and yielding as well as to learning to relate to gravity in a way that doesn’t feel over-powering.  Your embodiment will directly influence your baby’s experience.