Co-Regulation and Self-Regulation: Movements to Shift Your Baby’s Arousal Level
“Self-Regulation” is a hot topic these days – often in relation to how well a child can control herself in stimulating situations. Here’s some basic information that might help you think about this, whether it applies to your 2 year old running around or a newborn resting in your arms.
Self-regulation is your child’s ability to modulate her arousal level. She learns how to do this through “co-regulating” experiences she has with you and other caregivers. Right from the get-go, you use regulating strategies to help her feel calm and comfortable: rocking, swinging, and bouncing your infant when she’s cranky; pulling your toddler into your lap and helping her to slow down when she’s over-excited. Most of what you communicate to your child during these early years is non-verbal. She listens to your words but it’s your gaze, touch, tone of voice, facial expression, and movement gestures that really matter. It’s through those non-verbal channels that you help her to shift her arousal level …… and as she experiences this over time, she’ll gradually learn to self-regulate.
It’s natural for your child’s arousal level to fluctuate depending on how stimulating her day is. Some times she’s ready for stimulation and other times she’s not. Tuning into her signals can help you be proactive in your efforts to co-regulate. One of the things you’ll notice is her effort to self-soothe when she feels overwhelmed: thumb sucking, gaze aversion, crying, humming, sounding, small repetitive movements like kicking or rubbing, etc. This is called “auto-regulation” – a capacity she was born with that she does with little or no awareness. She’s trying to stay optimally alert and comfortable. You can help her by making sure that she has recovery time throughout her day that allows her nervous system to rest. I think of this kind of “down-regulating” as “Peaks and Valleys: if her peaks are followed by valleys, she’s less likely to become overwhelmed by stimulation.
Sometimes a baby or toddler needs help bringing more energy into her system. She might feel lethargic or kind of flat. When this is the case, you can help her to “up-regulate” by providing movement and social interactions that excite and activate her nervous system. This can look like singing, swinging, massaging, or playful touch and facial expressions.
Rhythm: one of the best supports for regulation! Think of heartbeats and breathing rhythms. Your child’s earliest experience of nervous system regulation is in those rhythmic movements. You can help her to access a sense of regulation by doing things like drumming, rhythmic ball bouncing or throwing and catching, clapping games, singing, dancing and other rhythmic activities.
Best “Take-Home” Tip: Use your own self-regulation to co-regulate your baby or child. Notice how aroused you feel and see if you can either up-regulate or down-regulate your own nervous system so that you can then use your voice, tone, rhythm, attention, speed, flexibility, gaze, sounds, and gestures to help her to stay regulated.